Macau and the Rich Chinese

So, if Facebook is reliable, all of our friends and loved ones had a fantastic Christmas. That's good! Now onto New Years? Whew! This time of year is always a wild ride and then BOOM, a whole new year. Our Christmas was small, quaint, but wonderful. My Santa always rocks and that's why I love him all year round!

Dan is on a month to month business visa which requires a trip to Hong Kong every month and the company pays for it. Harsh, huh? I love it when Corporations drop the ball and we get a monthly get-away!

So, with that in view, one of Dan's Christmas gifts was a trip to Macau, which is the Chinese version of Las Vegas. Guess what folks, it's better in so many ways.

The thing about Las Vegas, yes there's no place like it on earth (probably a good thing), but it is old. Macau is an old city, but Gaming wasn't allowed until quite recently so everything is huge, lush, and brand new!

Now the Chinese only get 2 holidays a year. A week in February for Chinese New Year and a week in October. For the average Chinese person, this always means going to the town you are from and spending it with family. The reason I point this out is..... this means that the Chinese and other tourists who can just take off and go to Macau are only the extremely wealthy and so this place and any other hot spot is all about Luxury and VIP treatment. And as a Westerner, they don't realize you may only be a normal Engineer living in Mainland China, they assume you are seriously wealthy and expect only the best like they do. So for two days we have fallen into this catagory without even trying to.

Example, since we are leaving for Hong Kong first thing in the morning, Dan asked the Conceirge if he could go ahead and buy Ferry Tickets here from them. They quickly ushered us into the V.I.P. only part of the hotel (a completely seperate section with it's own conceirge, shops, and restaurants not accessable to regular hotel guests). Sat us down, offered us tea or anything else, and let us relax while he got us tickets on a Hydroflight craft (it looks like a yacht and goes much faster than the regular ferries). Just because we were American, they assumed this was the treatment we required. Of course we would have been idiots to argue, so there you go.

The guests in the hotel, I could watch all day. Soooo fabulous and soooo obviously wealthy. It's a good thing I brought my Birkin so I could easily blend with the ladies who were all carrying theirs. We even saw one couple arriving in a stretch Mercedes Limo. I knew Mercedes had one, but had never seen it parked right beside me. As usual with this set, the stores were extremely high end and full of shoppers.

Another Example, I wanted a pair of dress shoes for Sam. She needs some grey ones. I pick up a cute pair of Silver dressy Combat Boot types to check the size and the price. $2,000.00 (they ended up being Dolce and Gabbana Jr.) So, ofcourse I put them down! After all, I'm not freakin' CRAZY!!!!!!

So, as soon as I put them back on the shelf, an absolutley gorgeous Chinese woman asks me if I don't want them. I've been in this setting awhile, so I just flip my hair casually and tell her no, they are not the right size. (Snicker, Snicker). She asks me if I am sure and I say, yes I am sure, they will not work for me. So she grabs them and heads straight to the cashier and buys the damn things. $2,000.00 shoes to fit a toddler. And not even everyday shoes!!!! Dressy shoes. I thought I was going to faint. lol.

So, to re-iterate. I LOVE THIS PLACE!!!!!!!!

Until Next Time, Have a safe and Happy New Year!!!!!!!

Starving Children in China

Where oh where has my motivation gone? Seriously, is everyone but me ahead of the game this Christmas? We do have a barren little Christmas tree (thank you IKEA), but the only presents under it are from Sam's school. I have money in my pocket, but the desire to get out there and spend it eludes me! I can't believe it, me, not shopping? Am I ill?

For one thing, Sam is home from school and makes everything 20 times more difficult. For another, a cold front has blown through and it just seems easier to stay snuggled up inside watching black market DVD's of Gossip Girl.

Today though, I am going to force my Big Fat Ass (which is slimming down thanks to all the walking we do) off the couch and into the mall which supposedly has a Toy's R Us! So wish me luck there, would ya?

So, on with the extremes.....

Here is a bit of realization that made me want to slap my mother for telling me such bullshit! If your kids are ever not cleaning their plates as much as you would like Don't guilt them into eating by telling them there are starving kids in China! There AREN"T! The kids we see in China are staying snug in their mommie's Audi SUV's while their nannies run into school to see if class is ready to begin! Also, they are not starving, they are happily eating hand made noodles in the back seats of their Daddy's Bentley. You heard me BENTLEYS! So there!

Our antecdote for the week?

Well on a night I didn't want to cook (yes I know this is every night, but this time Dan felt bad for me), we walked down to the local Pizza Hut. We ordered a Supreme Pizza and if you know Dan, you know he is a SALT-a-holic. So he asked the waiter for salt. The waiter said okay and brought back some Parmesan cheese. Dan says, no salt please. Waiter says okay and brings Tabasco sauce. Dan says thanks, but could I also get some salt. The waiter says ofcourse and brings red pepper. Dan says, this is not salt, this is pepper. Can I have some salt? Waiter says, oh sorry and brings the black pepper. How Dan kept his patience here, I will never know, especially with me laughing hysterically! The waiter comes back with another thing of parmesan cheese. Dan says, we already have cheese, what I want is SALT!!!!!!! Finally with nothing left on the shelf to bring, the waiter brings a tiny shaker of salt. Dan looks over the table and says, so there you have it, Salt, Pepper, and Graitude! I was laughing so hard the other diners were wondering what the hell was so damn funny! Gotta love China!

Hope your all having winter wonderland fun! We will be vacationing the next time I post so more Asian Excitement to come.

We love you All!!!!!!

Livin' like Dina Lohan

So begins the winter season and no country other than the United States seems to hawk it like China! There are shoppers, set ups, and lights everywhere. Sales abound everywhere you go, but the odd thing is.... They are not Christians?!?!? Only a small 7% of China is Christian. The majority being Buddhist and Taoist. I mean I totally understand, a true shop-a-holic will use any excuse! We have even heard that Hong Kong has a line around the Louis Vuitton store. A velvet rope, because they can only let 10 shoppers in at a time, otherwise total chaos ensues. A grand vision, I must admit!

this has been a usual crazy week. I love the craziness really, and I suppose you do too or else you wouldn't be reading to find out what insane crap has happened here week to week, so let's get started shall we?

Sam starts Winter Break on Wednesday. What I am going to do with her for 2 weeks, I have no clue. I see a lot of cheap toys and manicures in her future!

This past Wednesday I went with the Club ladies to an Electronics Market. Turned out to be an old mall, with 7 floors of everything for phones, computers, cameras. Anything you can plug in or add batteries to was there for the haggling. I managed to get Dan a new Camcorder for less than 150 US. Not bad, touch screen and everything. Of course it did involve bargaining, walking away and being called back for an hour and a half to make sure we got the best deal and lowest price. To be honest, I would rather pay full price and get the hell outta dodge, but I was with a power bargainer, so I patiently played along.

Outside this Electrical Phenomenon was a place called Women's World. An outdoor market full of apparel. I felt bad shopping my ass off, while contemplating how to tell these people that Women's World usually means "The Fat Chicks Section" of a store. lol, but I held my tongue as I purchased Mommy and Daughter UGGS for only 40 dollars. In box, with tags and everything. Plus managed to hurriedly snag Sam 2 Burberry trench coats as I was dragged out of there to catch the bus back to reality! So, in all, HELLS YEAH for the Electronics Market. I left screaming to everyone that I would definitley be back as soon as I could manage it!

Sam had her first school, holiday concert Thursday night. Since she commutes to school, Dan, Sam, and I hired a car and settled in for a hair pulling 2 hour crawl in Shenzhen traffic to make it to the theater 2 minutes before show time. I literally ran by and threw her on stage. Snowflakes not only melt, they should arrive on time. As soon as I figure out the afore mentioned Camcorder, I will happily post my filming debut on FB!

Also of interest (or not, but hey it's my blog)We are fortunate enough to own a washing machine here. I may reside in China, but I refuse to beat Baby Gap clothes against a rock for cleaning purposes. Unfortunatley, everytime I do a load of clothes, all of the water leaks out of the bottom of the machine and all over the laundry room floor. Like I was told to do, I called the Property Manager's office, she supposedly speaks some English. After telling her what the problem is, she sends up a Maintainence man, talks to him on my phone, talks to me, talks more to him, then proceeds to tell me that apparently the problem has to do with the Battery and the Paper. I struggled to hold onto my last ounce of patience while I explain to "Miss Some English" that a washing machine has neither BATTERIES OR PAPER in them, then I hung up on her! I would rather mop up the floor after every load than deal with some snot who thinks they speak English, when really all they know how to say is Hello, Goodbye, and Thank you!

So, I kick out the maintenance guy who really was very nice and go out on the balcony to smoke a cigarrette and calm down. My eyes wander to the apartment balcony below and over one and what do I see. She has not only her laundry hanging out to dry, but also her dinner. I KID YOU NOT, she had one row of undies and one row of seaweed hung out to dry. That was enough to send me into a moment of hysterical laughing and forget all about my leaky washer! Atleast I don't have to worry about how wet my dinner might be!

And finally, last night we went down to the town square to grab dinner at a new restaurant. There are always local artists there on the weekends doing portraits of people, so we decided to get Sam's done! She sits down for the artist and no sooner does she get settled and he gets to sketching, she begins to draw a large crowd of on-lookers! There were atleast 40 chinese people gathered around her, taking pictures of her with their cameras and phones. Then they began to get bold and even squat down beside her to get their photos taken with her. I was sitting in a chair beside her to make sure she sat still and kept looking at the artist and I was getting blinded by flashes! It was like going out with Paris Hilton. People were saying things to her, trying to get her to look at them so they could get photos, so we are sitting there trying to be still for the artist and there is a crowd of people saying "Nihao, nihao" and flashes going off. I even had to step aside so I would not be in their photos of her. Now I know how Dina Lohan feels everytime she tries to do the simplest things with her daughter! Photos are on FB!

Until next week, tis the season to go into debt so get off your computer and go buy me something, damn it!

H.K., Holy Day, and another Massage.

Good morning Upper East Siders! Oh wait, that's not me, that's Gossip Girl.

So, my update for the week. Let's see. Hong Kong, what can I say about Hong Kong. It's absolutley fabulous! A true playgeound for the wealthy! All I heard before I went was how fantastic the shopping was. Well, apparently these people were not talking about bargains, sales, or anything like that. Obviously what they meant was if the Gucci you were in did not have the wallet you wanted, all you had to do was leave that mall, walk into the one next door and visit one of their 2 Gucci stores. I have never seen so many Gucci, Burberry, Escada, etc. stores together in all my life.

You know when you go to the Galleria in Houston where those stores are, there is only one of each, you go in and there might be one or two shoppers in there browsing or most likely tourists just going into Versace to gape at the price tags. But here, no, these stores were crowded with shoppers around the counters saying things like "no, not this one, let me see the other one", "okay I'll take both", and yes add this to my pile and now show me some blouses." It was phenomenal, like being in Confessions of a Shop-a-holics wet dream! And these were no sample sales, these were full price, one of a kind items.

So, Hong Kong is definitley a place I will be visiting as often as possible. My birthday there was an absolute blast. Great friends, great gifts, the best birthday yet!

An another note, we also made our first time visit to the Protestant church here in Shekou for Sunday service. For English people, you have two options. The Protestant Church and the Catholic Church, so needless to say we will be playing Protestant for awhile. It was a great service too. Held in a huge Gymnasium, there were still 3 rows of people standing, because it was so packed there weren't enough seats for everyone. It has a bit of a Baptist feel, a whole lot of singing and then a very stern serious message, but it was nice and we will definitley be going regularly. Dan was also amazed at all the Chinese people in the service. Christianity only makes up about 3 % of the Chinese religious population which is mostly Buddist or Tao.

On the home front this week, planty of adventure. Friday morning we woke up to no electricity. We all had to sit in the dark until 6:30 am when the sun finally began to come up, in order to get dressed for work and school. Needless to say, Samantha ended up going to school in a pink shirt that I could have swore was red when I got it out of the closet, red shoes, and a Baseball Cap because I could not see to brush her hair. Turns out the neighbors had tried to install a new washing machine that shorted out electricity in 4 apartments. How nice of them, right?

So after the morning dealing with that, I decided to relax with a foot message. I figured a foot massage couldn't be as detrimental to my health as the last massage. Of course, I was somewhat wrong or else these people just don't like me and wish to hurt me.

In hindsight, you should probably never trust a massage place that has a full bar at the front anyway, but who am I to say some can't have a cocktail and unwind while the employees try to beat them half to death.

So, I request a nice 80 minute FOOT massage. Get shown to a recliner where a nice looking young guy comes and tells me to turn around first. So, okay I do. He starts to rub my shoulders and neck and I'm thinking, this is a nice way to relax before getting to the Foot part. Then he trys to get me into a familiar position and I resist and tell him very sternly, NO, please do not POP anything on me!!!!!!

He says okay, like I must be crazy but continues the shoulder rub. No I mentioned he was nice looking right? So here I am sitting up straight while he rubs my shoulders, then he starts massaging my lower back and this puts him in the position where I am sitting up straight, and he is behind me with his mouth close to my ear and I can hear him groan in my ear as he uses his weight and force to massage. This is when it started getting a little intimate and uncomfortable, because this guy is behind me practically breathing in my ear and rubbing me. I am thinking, okay this is awkward, but not totally unpleasant. Hee! Hee!

Then he starts massaging my ass!!!! What is wrong with these people, I am there for a Foot massage, since when does that include a 10 minute ass rub as well? I swear, I am really beginning to think these guys see a big, fat, western trunk and they just can't help themselves, they have to rub it!

Finally I am returned to the recliner and he starts massaging my feet and it was amazing. It was so good, the 15 minute walk home afterwards felt like I was rolling along on clouds, my feet were so relaxed!

So finally a not so bad massage experiance and a perfect start to the weekend!

Hope everyone survived Black Friday and is gearing up for Christmas!

The Chinese, They Like It Rough!

Wow, I can't believe it's already been another week! Let's see, we moved into our new apartment, Samantha began riding the school bus all by herself (with her teacher of course), and it's almost my birthday.

So, here's a highlight! Today I had the day to myself and since it's my birthday tomorrow I decided to spend it with a little pampering. Okay, a lot of pampering, but I digress!

I went with the Women's club to a shopping area, but it was boring so I decided to cut out early for better pampering. Got a relaxing one hour manicure ($20.00), not too shabby, then I decided to really go all out and get a massage.

Here's where this day really went psycho! So, I walk into this massage parlor and it seems very nice although the smell of incense burning about knocked me unconscious and I was led past many V.I.P. and private hotel type rooms which I am sure are there for those Extra Special Massages, but to each their own right?

So, I am placed in a room and left there for a minute. No one asks me to strip down which seems strange, I 've never had a massage with all my clothes on before, but as it turns out, I am wayyyy thankful I was not naked for this!

After about five minutes, in walks this 4 foot tall, little Chinese guy! Now I have had a lot of massages in the past so the messuer being a man does not bother me, especially since I am still in my street clothes, even my shoes are on, but I am still thinking if anything strange pokes me I am so outta here!

He tells me to lay down on the table face down, no problem, normal start to the process I think! Then he proceeds to pound on my back like I slid out of a can of freakin Spam or something. Literally beating me like I am chopped liver. My newly painted fingernails are digging into the massage table as I try my best to keep breathing without screaming! I mean, it was brutal. He is using his elbows and all the weight he can put on them to knead my back into a Kindergarten Play-dough disaster. All the way up and down my spine this jerk is jabbing into me in a circular motion with those boney ass elbows of his!

The whole time he is beating me like his bitch, I am trying not to scream and just waiting for Ashton Kutcher to hurry his ass up and barge in to tell me I've been *Punked*. I mean this was hurting like hell!

Now I know from past massages that when they find a spot and you react by laughing or crying, that spot is where the energy has collected so they have to really work that spot to get the energy to flow outward and throughout your body. (or some crap like that), so of course everytime I grunt or whine, he thinks he has found that spot and pounds away even freakin harder.

Also no matter where I have been or what type of massage I have gotten, never has anyone massaged my ass for 20 minutes straight. So that was causing some concern, but I was so thankful it wasn't hurting that I just used the time to recover and try to start breathing again!

Finally, he tells me to turn on my side, I am very relieved because what damage can he possibly cause while I'm just laying on my side right? WRONG, he bends my leg, has my stretch out my arms wide. He puts one hand on my shoulder, his other on my hip and then twists me like a pretzel while I hear atleast 5 vertebrae crack and pop!

I have never let anyone pop my back or my neck. I am way to chicken shit for that, so this little surprise about made me wet myself! Then he has the nerve to tell me to roll over on the other side! Is he just totally sadistic or what?

If I could speak Mandarin, I would have long before hand told him look, if your day has been that shitty, why don't you just go home instead of using me as a stress reliever! I mean doesn't he realize the whole point of this was because my body is going to be a whole year older tomorrow? It can't handle this crap like it used to!

So of course to be fair to my body, I have to roll over and go through it again, because by this time I am afraid if I don't the whole friggin' right side of my body may quite working and I will just have to drag it around for the next 40 years.

Now for the cool down. I am told to sit on a stool. Thank God Almighty, maybe I can use this obvious shoulder rubbing to recover. WRONG AGAIN, he presses every pressure point I have causing me to flinch all the while telling me how tense I am, DUH no shit Sherlock. You have successfully whipped me like potatoes for the last 50 minutes and I'm retarded enough to be paying for this nightmare!

So, instead of  nice shoulder rub, he decides it's neccessary to place on hand against my forhead, other hand on my chin and twist my neck until it pops. Same move they use in movies to KILL people folks. Then of course has to freakin do the other side.

He then shakes out my arms and tells me to go home and relax. Is this asshole for real? By the end I was nauseous, in tears, and ready to tell any secrets I might have to make the torture stop.

I am convinced I will be covered with bruises tomorrow! If I don't get a stinkin' Ipad and some Burberry out of this birthday I may just offer to give Dan a nice massage as a gift!

So I hope this little tale of terror will make you even more THANKFUL that instead of meany massuses, you will be with family eating way too much food and watching way too much football!

We love you!

One week Ago....

Hi there ya'll! Well, we have officially been here for one week and what a week it's been! We are really loving it. I am trying to get into snapping some photos for you so I will try and post some next week.

Today I paid $60.00 *including tip* to get a full set of Acrylic nails and Samantha got a Mani and Pedi. Her first ever and she did so well! So, I can't exactly say things are cheaper here, but it's not sky high either so it's fine.

For all those who were hoping to be treated to some great deals, forget it! The things we love most are not all that great a bargain. For instance, I only brought my Birkin bag with me, because I always use it to travel with *not to mention, I don't trust it out of my sight*, anywho so I was in terrible need of a smaller purse so I went shopping.

I ended up with a very small, so-so Louis Vuitton copy and still paid $116.00. Nothing like Korea where you could score an original for $70.00. Sorry to disappoint my ladies, but no great deals so far! Also, on the same note, the $500.00 Ipad I wanted for my birthday is sold here for $1,100.00. No I'm not JOKING, it's a luxury + import tax! ARGH!!!!!!!

But I digress, other than my future of limited shopping, I am loving it. Oh yeah, and while I complain about money, Sam's school will be $1,500.00 more than we thought. OUCH!

Well, that has been my week. Tonight we are actually getting a sitter and going to a Work function for Dan. Oil and Gas talk will be a total bore, but atleast they won't be begging me to go down the slides with them one more time. Well, maybe after a few drinks they might, but who cares, I need an Adult Night Out!!!

Take care all of you. We miss our family and pals like crazy!

Maiden Post

Hi there and welcome to Hamill Famly chaos. Now I am totally new to bloggng, but thought this would be a great way to keep all of our friends and family updated on how we are and what is going on.

This will also be a great place to vent as it's always so very frustrating settling into a new country. So, I will need this for my sanity as much as you will need it for cheap entertainment.

So I hope we will both enjoy this journey together and get through it together. We will miss everyone so much. I hope my daily rants will help you feel like we've never left. lol!