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Come with us as we make our way from Good Ole' Texas to fabulous Hong Kong, China.

Friday, January 21, 2011

What the hell is in my hair?

Hello everyone! And how was your week? Me? Well.........

Monday morning I woke up and my hair was damp. Apparently some little one had snuck into our bed in the middle of the night, got turned to where she was parellel with the head board between our pillows, and then of course, she wet the bed. Alas, my hair was wet when I woke up.

Now of course, I am a woman with a past and this is not the first time I have found myself with an undesirable substance in my coif! There was that party Senior year where some random date told me that Everclear was just like water, therefore drinking a 32 oz. Big Gulp cup of Trash Can punch is harmless. Ugh! That was the first and last time I ever partyed without a good friend willing to hold my hair for me as I ralphed.

Then of course, we all have the experiance where not so lady-like statements are made, such as "Wait, my skirt is caught in the car door" and gee, whatever your name was, I hope I can get back into the club, because my ride was still on the floor dancing when we came out here"

I'm kidding!!! Gosh, your a judgmental audience, aren't ya! Glass houses, remember!

Anywho...

So Tuesday night was Bookclub. There were about 10 ladies, the usual nice but also over educated, elitist, Ex pat wives. So, i am standing in the kitchen talking to two other ladies who were well traveled. Now, granted these ladies I have only met a handful of times, but you know, it doesn't take a Doctorate in Neurology to be able to determine certain things about people when you first meet or chat with them. Do you agree?

So, we are in the kitchen, and I ask the older woman, "Have you been to Dubai, I've never been, but we are headed there for Chinese New Year next week". So she haughtily replies, "I don't care for it, it's all new and shiny, with nothing but shopping, like one big fancy shopping mall!" She says this like it's a bad thing, meanwhile my eyes have ofcourse glazed over and drool has begun to drip down my chin. I mean HELLO, does she have no idea who the hell she was talking to? She says all that with that negative tone and meanwhile I am picturing heaven on earth where anything designed in Italy or France is on sale!!!!! The other woman there just took one look at me and started laughing hysterically, because obviously I looked just like Garfield when Lasagna comes out of the oven!

Later in the week, I read on Yahoo home page, an article called "Men weigh in on Woman's Fashion". These jackholes start giving us tips on what they like and don't like. I couldn't believe it! Guess what fellas, unless our main career task everyday is hanging upside down on a pole while bad 70's rock blares, WE'RE NOT DRESSING FOR YOU!!!! Everyone with half a wit knows that women dress to impress other women. Am I right ladies? I could care less what the guy at the freakin Walgreen's counter thinks of my top or my make up that day. It's what the Mom's at John Wesley think that matters! Then these ego losers go on to bash Uggs! My favorite shoes in all the land! I mean, really! They made a comment like "Please ladies, give these Uggly things back to the Eskimos you stole them from", I thought I was going to pass out! How dare these 20 something Bachelor show wanna be's dis my furry, fuzzy, cuddly, luvvy boots! Down with MEN! Argh!

So that was my week. Thursday we are headed to Hong Kong, Bangkok, Thailand, and ofcourse that big Glittery Mall that is Dubai. I will check in with you from there.

Much love from the People's Republic!

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Woes me and a Coffee Bun

"Oh woes me, my life is a misery, oh oh but can't you see, that I'm at the start of a pretty big downer!" - Song Quote from Rocky of The Rocky Horror Picture Show

I don't know why that song popped into my head as I thought of the word woes.

This week has been normal and frankly I can't understand it. Could it be that nothing here surprises me anymore? Could it be the adventure has run out on the People's Republic of China? I think not! Maybe as Global teachers guide my child and the Ayi guides my housework, I have simply grown complacent in my Uggs! Thankfully a change of scene is just around the corner. Yep, two weeks until a new adventure in Dubai. Don't worry, you will be right there with me!

So, last night Dan brings me a flyer offering fresh bakery goods delivered right to your door. I was so excited I put in an order immediately! I ordered some Foccacia bread with Olives, Sourdough Bread, A homemade Chocolate Swiss Roll (which I am thinking should be just like the little Debbie version only fresh and not yucked down by preservatives!) and something called a Coffee Bun. I ordered three of those, cuz hey I drink coffee and might need a treat to go with it!

Delightedly I opened the door this morning to the delivery guy with all my ordered yummies. As a matter of fact, I timed it so that I would still be drinking coffee when my Coffee Buns arrived. I didn't know what to expect, but envisioned something sweet like a Cinnamon Roll or at the very least a Croissant. And I got this huge bun that did look like a Cinnamon roll. It was large, round, soft, and the top was dusted with a brown powder that I just naturally assumed was a shit load of Cinnamon. YUM! So, I pop that sucka in the micro for 10 seconds, grab my coffee, and my Ipad and settle in for some "Mommy Me Time" bliss.

Unfortunately the first huge bite of bun flew right out of my mouth and across the room, landing politely on the bookshelves. Oh yes friends, powder was NOT Cinnamon. Powder was COFFEE! Duh, I guess that's what makes it a Coffee Bun!!! It is a dinner roll covered in Coffee! OMG, I thought I was never going to get the grit out of my mouth. and guess what folks, trying to chase it down with half cold coffee did not help matters a bit! I swear, I almost lost dinner from last night. I gagged and gagged and finally swished up enough spit to wash the God Awful Oil Dust powder out of my mouth. So there I was, leaned back against the Piano, huffing and panting and half choking, and thinking "Good Lord, Priscilla, when are you going to freakin' learn?" I should have expected the unexpected! All in all though, the Bakery rocks, minus the Car Bomb worthy Coffee Buns!

How I would love to be home with a plain old Chocolate Croissant from Starbucks or as Kelly made me crave, a Vanilla Dr. Pepper from Sonic, oh or some Chic-minis from Chik-fil-a. Oh I could go on and on about what America has that the rest of the universe lacks. They can keep all their beloved McDonald's, just send me some Arby's! lol

Anyway, I'm sorry it was a boring, less than note worthy week, but I still wanted to touch base with all of you to let you know how much you are missed.

I promise to try and stir up more trouble for next week, so just bear with me!

Prissy

So, how was your morning?

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Santa vs. A Bunny Rabbit!

In this corner, wieghing in at a fat and jolly 250 pounds is.........SANTA CLAUS!

In this corner, standing in at 100 pounds dripping wet, including ears and tail is..........A BUNNY RABBIT!

Okay, now that I've got my introduction, allow me to explain. All through the festive holiday among the mall's Sleighs, Santa's, Elves, and Candy Canes we always saw a random Rabbit thrown in.

Dan and I joked and thought that maybe they just had their Christian holidays mixed up. Or hey maybe, they just like Rabbits.

It took the whole month before someone finally told us that the Rabbits were because it is almost Chinese New Year and this will be the year of the Rabbit!

That's okay, personally I'm used to feeling stupid so I just used it as an excuse to roll around on the floor, laughing my ass off, because Dan's and my theories were so far off and it wasn't the Chinese confusing everything. It was the usual "Stupid Americans".

So, anyway that lead me to feel like I should include you in our Chinese New Year's festivities with some history.

There will be no quiz at the end of this blog, so relax!

Chinese New Year:

It's always around the end of January, but like many holidays, not always on the same day. This year it is actually February 3rd.

As I'm sure you have all been to a Chinese Restaurant with those paper place mats showing all the animals and years they are associated with. These are based on the 12 animals that supposedly appeared before Buddha.

They are....A Pig, A Dog, A Rooster, A Monkey, A Goat, A Horse, A Snake, A Dragon, A Rabbit, A Tiger, An Ox, and A Rat.

There is an animal for every year and just like our zodiac signs, the animal for the year you are born supposedly says much about your personality.

I found this pretty entertaining and also eerily close to correct, especially Dan's. I will tell you ours and then give you the website so you can find your own.

Dan-1947 and Samantha-2007 are both born in the years of the PIG.

PIG: People born under this animal are extremely nice, good-mannered, and tasteful. Perfectionists who enjoy finer things, but are not perceived as snobs. They enjoy helping others and are also good companions until someone crosses them. they are intelligent and always learning.

(I don't know about you, but I think this sounds exactly like Dan.)

Hayden-1994 is year of the Dog.

DOG: Loyal, faithful, honest, dis-trustful and often guilty of telling white lies. Temperamental, prone to mood swings, dogmatic, and sensitive. Excel in business, but has trouble finding mates.

(this is Hayden in a nut-shell)

Me-1974

TIGER: Authoritative, self-possessed with good leadership skills. Charming, ambitious, courageous, warm hearted, highly seductive, moody, intense, and ready to pounce at any time.

(Now I do see much of this in me, but if you do, good cause it is complementary. I mean I am MOODY, but usually more so once a month. lol)

So go to this website, see which animal you are and let me know. I am curious to see how well the animals match all my friends and loved ones.

Until next week, let your inner animal roar!

www.chinesezodiac.com/signs

Bye!